Fear belongs to those emotional states that are considered to be negative. Moreover, fear is inherent it to anyone who is more or less psychologically healthy, because it is one of the basic inner emotional processes, laid down into the human psychical and physical systems in the very beginning of the humanity existing. Yes, both psychical and physical, because the mechanism of the fear is quite complicated and involves not only inner organs and systems, but also outer expression like mimics, gesture, posture. And most of these expressions cannot be controlled by the individual unless he had done great work concerning the emotional control and self-management. It doesn’t mean that such people do not feel fear, but they are able to restrain its visual signs.
Fear: the best alarm
Fear is related to the negative emotions since it causes unpleasant feelings. This declaration can be debatable because some people even seek for ways to induce the fear artificially, using horror films or some extreme situations. But for the deeper understanding how this works one should clearly what fear is indeed. Fear is a natural reaction to the real or supposed treatment and danger. It’s only aim is to defend people. Its function is an alarm: you hear it in your mind or even in the subconscious, and your body immediately acts as it was taught during the evolution – it hides, or screams, or runs, or fights, or simply trembles, or faints – depending on the circumstances and the strength of your nervous system. Who knows where the humanity could be now without this perfect protecting mechanism. But the problem of the people is the components that no animal has – imagination, difficult thought processes, not always straight logic, complicated feelings and their combinations.
This is the reason for appearing the fears that are not the signs of the real danger, and they have spoiled millions of the lives. They can be called irrational, or sometimes even foolish, but however people face them daily, and the question is, how to stop living in fear?
Get acquainted with the fear
The first thing everyone should perceive as something undoubted is that fear is necessary and helpful, and every fear is called up to defend us. And if you wonder how to remove fear from your mind, it will be more reasonable to ask, how to sort out, what the particular fear “wants” to defend us from.
So the first step is to recognize the fact of being afraid. Sometimes people meet difficulties already here because there are some fears that seem to be “shameful”, and they would better veil their own feelings even from themselves than give them real names. Some people can be scared by spiders, some by ordinary cars on the road, some (and they are incredibly numerous) by public speaking, some by meeting new people, and so on.
The second step is to ask you: why fear comes in mind? And this question is not so simple. For instance, how can you explain the fear of public speaking? Is there any danger while you are standing in front of other people and doing the thing you are doing every day and don’t find daunting – speak to them? If you go deeper, you will likely find out, that you are not afraid of speaking by itself, you are scared of failing, of looking stupid and incompetent. But this is also not a final answer. What if you look silly, what is scaring in this case? You can be not accepted by society, by socially significant individuals, and if so, you – at least in your imagination – can become derelict. The ancient parts of the brain shout: derelict means dead! No one can live separately from the tribe! And you trust them because all this is happening outside your consciousness. But once you try to get to the core you will shed the light on the real reasons.
How to stop fear and anxiety?
The answer is: no how. No need to stop them, but to realize, find key reasons and make hard inner work. Everyone should be ready to the fact that in some cases there is no chance to cope independently. Some fears escort us from the early childhood, and we can’t puzzle out what the real reasons for them are. If so, professional psychologists are at your disposal.
By the way, some fears need not soul-searching, but the quotidian practice. Afraid to drive? Just drive more, and then a bit more else. Afraid of the horses? Talk to them, touch them, finally ride them. Afraid of new people? Meet them, speak to them, ask their names, get acquainted, and you even will not notice the moment when the most scaring thing will transform into the routine.
The main task is not to know how I overcome my fears, but to realize, which of them are protecting from going the wrong way, and which the obstacles on the way to the success are. And sometimes the edge is too thin.
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